welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. i’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and i just have to say i’m really disappointed
Job interviewer: so what skills can you bring to the company
Me: i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now
The fact that I’m legally an adult is hysterical
Jillian Michaels, Shape Magazine
Yes I support gay rights.
Yes I would care if you died.
No I’m not going to reblog that post.
And i’m especially not going to reblog seven pages worth of colorful gifs of people patting their back because they’re not homophobic.
the waitomo caves of new zealand’s northern island, formed two million years ago from the surrounding limestone bedrock, are home to an endemic species of bioluminescent fungus gnat (arachnocampa luminosa, or glow worm fly) who in their larval stage produce silk threads from which to hang and, using a blue light emitted from a modified excretory organ in their tails, lure in prey who then become ensnared in sticky droplets of mucus.
*inhales* what a beautiful day *exhales* to play video games for 15 hours straight
Me: “What browser are you on?”
Me: “Google Chrome?”
Client: “No, just regular Google.”
Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”
Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”
Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?
Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”